Take photographs, study all of your beautiful curves, look at the way your body moves, name the things you like, dress up in nice underwear and embrace all of your beauty and power.

Getting to know your body is so important. Learning what gives you pleasure means that when you have sexual activity, you can communicate what you like and what your limitations may be to your partners. You will learn what pressure and sensations you enjoy and what areas may be painful or not accessible due to your disability. It’s important to know your body to limit painful experiences and avoid injury or other symptoms flaring.

It may be tricky at first or you may feel like the word disabled doesn’t feel right. But disability isn’t a dirty word and understanding your condition and talking about your disability will help to improve relationships and sex.

You may of experienced rejection or hurt after disclosing a disability, but you’re better off without them. You know your worth and if someone is uncomfortable with your disability they aren’t worth your time and sexual energy. 

So we’ve explored our bodies, we love them fiercely and we know what we like its time to get out there and enjoy some safe, consensual and passionate sex. Don’t be afraid to try new things!

Often when having sex with disabilities things might not go to plan, but don’t be disheartened trying again is part of the fun. Due to physical limitations or differences in our body's abilities positions or techniques might not work for you and that’s ok, write it off and move on to another position.

I recommend positions that are low impact on joints and strenuous. For example, my favourite is prone to the bone where I lie on my front and prop up my pelvis on pillows, this means I can position a toy in between my legs for stimulation, but none of my joints is holding my weight. I also enjoy positions where I’m lying on my side with my partner in front or behind me and then we get to explore each other bodies without too much movement. Get creative and come up with new ideas together! 

If you use a chair, walker, frame, crutches, perching stool, hoist or any other mobility aid don’t be afraid to incorporate this into sex.

There’s an assumption that mobility aids aren’t sexy and shouldn’t be brought into intimate moments. I’m here to tell you to throw that assumption out the window, imagine your lap is pulled onto a wheelchair and your lovely person is embracing all of you. YUM.

There are many pricey versions that you can buy online but fear not if that isn’t in your budget you can adapt mobility aids around your house or just use blankets and pillows to make things more comfortable. 

For example, you can buy a sex swing online for £80-£300, or you can use your existing hoist equipment, just because an item may be something you use for everyday accessibility doesn’t mean it can’t be used for sex too. 

Things like positioning aids, sponges and wedges range from £10 for inflatable options or upwards of £300 for velvet couches. I recommend Bedroom Adventures for varying wedges and toy mounts.

Fear not, bog-standard cushions and pillows work just as well and towels can be rolled up and used to hold positions.

As Cliterally The Best says, “communication is the best lube” and my goodness is it true. Communication is the most important thing no matter what your ability is. Communicating and being honest about every aspect of your sex life is the biggest and most positive change you can make for your sexual relationships.

Communication is above all the best change I have made to my sex life with disabilities. This can be communicating your wants and needs. I can be scheduling sex to work around times of high levels of pain and fatigue, it can be communicating that something is starting to hurt, communicating that you want to do next or communicating that something has changed and you don’t enjoy what you used to.

Communication helps you to learn what is best for your body and how to be comfortable with it and others.