Lots of us weren’t prepared for our first time. Thanks to poor Sex Ed and just lots of silly myths in our social groups. It can often lead us to have mediocre and unpleasurable sex for a long time!
When I use the term ‘sex‘, I am referring to ALL sexual activity, not just the P in V – because yes, it all counts and it's all valid. Oh, and if you haven’t been following me for long, virginity is 1000% a social construct and it completely invalidates any LGBT+ sex – more on that throughout the site.
I took to Instagram this week to see exactly what you guys wish you knew before you began getting intimate with others. I've put them into a nice little list – enjoy!
- “It’s not something you need to ‘complete’ to be whole or an adult”.
- “It’s NOT meant to hurt when you have penetrative sex for the first time”.
- “Learn what you and your body like first”.
- “Lube will be your best friend for all kinds of sex and it isn’t just for those with moisture issues”.
- “It’s not as big of a deal as Catholic School made out”.
- “Sex is soo much more than penetration”.
- “Most vulvas cannot orgasm through penetration, you’re not broken”.
- “Sex is so much better with someone you trust”.
- “It’s okay to wait.”
- “Not everyone is ready at the same time”.
- “You NEED to understand consent before you have sex”.
- “It’s okay if you never have sex”.
- “You are not responsible for someone’s actions are you say no”.
- “It’s not just something you do to please others, it should be a mutual experience”.
- “It’s okay to cry after you have sex”.
- “It’s okay to not like it the first time.”
- “It’s not like the movies”.
- “PEE AFTER SEX”.
- “If they don’t respect your NO, they don’t deserve you or your body ever.”
- “Sex is not a performance”.
- “You don’t have to do what you see in porn”.
- “It’s messy and pretty laughable most of the time”.
- “Queefs are normal, especially in the doggy”.
- “Clitoral stimulation is key (for most vulvas)”.
- “You can stop halfway through”.
- “You don’t ‘owe’ sex to anyone”.
- “You probably won’t orgasm the first time and that’s okay.”
- “Pubic hair is not dirty”.
Sex is your own experience, nobody else’s. There is no wrong way to have sex – remember that.