Whether you’ve just parted from a quick fling or are ending a very long relationship, dealing with a breakup is downright HARD.
No matter how right or mutual the decision was to end the relationship you will likely find yourself missing the other person and the life/routine you had formed.
As difficult as it is to cease contact, many people believe that it’s one of the best routes you can take to heal the heartbreak and not prolong the pain. Let's discuss what ‘no contact’ means and how you can resist the pull to reach out.
What does ‘no-contact’ mean?
X% of you have tried this and for the people that did, X% found it beneficial to their healing journey.
It does what it says on the tin, it simply means cutting off all communications with your ex after a breakup. This includes not engaging in phone calls, texting, direct messages and “likes” on social media, and in-person meet-ups.
Some even argue that looking at their social media posts is considered off limits for the best result.
How long should 'no-contact' it be?
It really depends on your relationship and the aim of going ‘no contact’. Experts argue that 60 days is recommended to reap the benefits but some say 90 days plus if you ended on bad terms.
If you are not looking to become friends again/hang in the same circles or just don’t have an urge to stay in their life in a platonic capacity, you will likely not need the ‘no contact’ to end, it will just be a permanent. But it can be beneficial to set a time goal to avoid going to them when you're feeling lonely/down.
How to resist the temptation of contacting your ex
You will find yourself wanting to break ‘no contact’, so here are things to put in place to avoid this:
- Dive into your hobbies & make plans with friends - Keeping busy, particularly in the evenings and with other humans can really help you forget.
- Reduce phone time - Doom scrolling can increase the temptation to ‘check-up’ on them, stop it.
- Keep a journal - get those feelings out of your head and onto a page before you go to sleep.
- Block them - this doesn't have to happen but it can often help with the temptation. Make sure you don’t block without letting them know first.
A reminder :)
It will be hard. You will want to contact them, that’s ok. Try and see it as a gift to yourself, to work out what you want from life, fall back in-love with yourself and become stronger (without anyone else).
You will likely look at the relationship through ‘rose-tinted glasses’ - make sure you have a little list in your notes app to remind you why the relationship wasn't working.
This work is hard. It's often painful. But it's the place where life begins and starts getting really rich, rewarding, and fun.
