Sex 101

Condom & protection excuses (debunked) & their comebacks

Condom & protection excuses (debunked) & their comebacks

Some people avoid using condoms, either because they think they don’t need them or they just don’t want to use them. However, condoms are essential as they are the only contraceptive method that protects against both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Using condoms is a smart habit to develop, and with the variety of types available, you can find ones that actually enhance your sexual experience.

Whether it’s you or your partner making excuses, here are some common ones along with ways to counter them:

“I know they are clean/i'm clean”

You can't judge if someone has an STI based on their appearance or sexual history. Many STIs show no symptoms. The only way to know for sure is through testing. 

Also using the words 'clean' and 'dirty' implies that someone with an STI is dirty when in fact anyone can get an STI, even those who use protection.

“I hate how condoms feel”

This excuse is quite common, but using condoms can still make for great sex! The right condom can even boost pleasure. Here are some tips:

  • Size: Condoms that don’t fit well can be uncomfortable and less effective. Try different sizes to find the best fit.
  • Thinner Condoms: These can increase sensation and pleasure.
  • Non-Latex Condoms: Perfect for those with latex allergies and often feel more natural.
  • Flared Condoms: These offer more room at the end, making them easier to put on and more comfortable.
  • Stimulating Condoms: These are ribbed or lubricated to add sensation.
  • Flavored Condoms: Great for oral sex but avoid for vaginal sex to prevent irritation.
  • Extra Lubricated Condoms: These can enhance pleasure, and you can add more lube for better sensation.

“It's just a round of antibiotics, i'll go get tested after”

Not all STIs are curable, and many people don’t show symptoms, which can lead to untreated long-term health issues like infertility. Regular testing is crucial but if you are having them too soon it can miss some, check out STI window periods.

“Just pull out”

The withdrawal method is unreliable for preventing pregnancy because pre-ejaculate can contain sperm. It also doesn’t protect against STIs. Condoms are a much safer choice.

“They wouldn't have sex with me if they knew they had an STI”

Many people don’t realise they have an STI because they show no symptoms. Regular testing is the only way to know for sure.

“I'm on contraception so it's fine”

Other contraception methods don’t protect against STIs. If you’re in a monogamous relationship and both tested negative, it might be safe, but always consult a health professional.

“It ruins the moment”

Preparation is key. Talk about condoms before sex, make putting them on part of the fun (the non-penis owner could put it on), and always have them easily accessible.

“No condoms fit me”

Condoms come in various sizes and are designed to stretch. There’s a perfect fit for every penis.

“I'll just take the morning after pill”

Emergency contraception should be a last resort. Regular contraception methods are more effective and have fewer side effects. Keep emergency contraception for when your regular method fails.

Condom Excuse Comebacks

“It just doesn’t feel good.”

  • Try a condom one size smaller.
  • Does an unplanned pregnancy feel better?
  • A condom will make you feel much better than an STD.
  • Neither does sleeping alone, babe.

“But baby, I’m clean. No STDs”

  • How sure are you that I’m clean?
  • You also said you were six inches, and that was disappointing.
  • The only thing I’m catching tonight is an Uber if you don’t use a condom.

“I don’t last as long with a condom on.”

  • Sounds like you need more practice.
  • Don’t punish me for your inadequacies.
  • Hopefully, you'll last longer than this relationship.

“I’ll just pull out, don’t worry.”

  • And I’ll just pull out of this relationship.
  • There’s nothing to pull out if there’s no condom.
  • I’m not risking pregnancy with how fast you handle things.

“It ruins the moment.”

  • Put it on, or there will be no moment.
  • So does your attitude.
  • A pregnancy ruins our lives.

“It’s hard to put it on.”

  • Try a condom one size down.
  • It’s hard to deal with your attitude, but I manage. So put a condom on.
  • Perfect time to practice.
  • I’ve got all night.

“Girls are responsible for birth control, not the guys.”

  • Clearly, your mother should have been more responsible.
  • It’s not pregnancy I’m worried about; it’s STDs from you.
  • Abstinence is the best birth control with you.

“But we’ve had sex without a condom before.”

  • That’s one mistake I’m not repeating.
  • I learn from my mistakes.

“Don’t you trust me?”

  • I’m starting not to.
  • I trust you with dinner choices, not with unprotected sex.
  • Trust will come with a ring on my finger.
  • No, I thought that was clear.

“I don’t have one with me.”

  • Go get one; I’ll wait.
  • Give me fifty bucks for the morning-after pill then.
  • Guess we’ll do this another time.

Protection for those not having sex with someone with a penis...

If you don't have sex with someone with a penis, you still need to take steps to stay protected. You can take several steps to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). While the risk of transmission is lower, it is still important to practice safe sex. Using dental dams or condoms during oral sex and while sharing sex toys can significantly reduce the risk of STIs. Regular STI screenings are crucial, as many infections can be asymptomatic. It’s also important to communicate openly with partners about sexual health and STI status. Keeping sex toys clean and not sharing them without proper sterilisation can further prevent the spread of infections. Read our full LGBTQ+ safer sex guide.

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